The traveling salesman was passing through a small western town selling an elixir which he declared: "will make men live to a great age!"
"Look at me," he shouted. "Hale and hearty, I'm over 300 years old."
"Is he really as old as that?" a bystander ask the youthful assistant.
"I can't say," replied the assistant. "I've only worked for him for just over a 100 years."
A girl asked an old bachelor friend whether he had been disappointed in love?
"No, I never was exactly disappointed in love. I was what you might call discouraged. You see, when I was very young I became much enamored with a young lady of my acquaintance. I was mortally afraid to tell her of my feelings, but at last I got the courage to the proposing point. I said 'Let's get married!'"
"And what did she say?
"She said, 'Good Lord, Who'd have us.'"