I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today...
His mom got really angry!
A mother complained to my wife, a schoolteacher, that other students were stealing her daughter’s pencils.
“It’s not the money, it’s the principle,” she insisted. “My husband took those pencils from work.”
Interviewer: "How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?"
Me: "That’s when I went to Yale..."
Interviewer: "That’s impressive. You are hired."
Me: "Thanks. I really need this yob."
"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
"No sun."