Teacher: "School starts 8am, young man. Why are you coming in at 8:30am?
Student: "Sir, by all means, you can start the class without me. No need to wait."
Wife: "Last night I had a dream that you bought me a pearl necklace."
Husband: "Wow, that's great! Tonight when you go to sleep, you can put it on."
Woman: "Do you have a greeting card which reads 'You are my first and last love'?"
Store keeper: "Yes ma'am, we do."
Woman: "Perfect! Give me 10 such cards!"
Tom to his mom: "Mom, please tell me a story?"
Mom: "Sorry, honey, I don't have any new stories to tell. But you should ask your dad why he was late coming home today. He will then tell you some amazing stories."