Best Jokes

Wife: I hate that beggar.

Husband: Why?

Wife: That rascal, yesterday I gave him food and today he gave me a Cookbook!

During the recent winter Olympus the leading downhill skier. was told he had a temperature.

"How high is it doctor?" he wanted to know.

"A hundred and one..."

"What's the world record?"

Why shouldn't you tell jokes to an egg?

Because it may crack up!

A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her there, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair.Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning. Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home.

"So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"

"It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me fart."