Best Jokes

My 5 year old: "Do trees poop?"

Me: "Of course they do, that’s how we get #2 pencils."

Why are chemists bad at playing pranks?

They lack the element of surprise.

Policeman: "Why are you driving without a light?"

Scooterist: "There is light everywhere."

Policeman: "Then shall I remove the air from your tires?"

Scooterist: "Why would you do that?"

Policeman: "Because there is air everywhere..."

It's Christmas morning and after all the gifts are unwrapped Little Johnny ask the following qeustion, "Mother, where did all these pretty toys come from?"

Mother: "Johnny, Santa brought all of them."

Johnny: "Did he bring everything? Did he bring the electric train, the baseball glove and bat? The ice skates..."

Mother: "Yes Johnny, Santa brought everything."

Johnny: "Well, then who buys all the things in the stores?"