Best Jokes

What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?

An Independ-ant.

Two years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date...

Today I asked her to marry me...

She said no on both occasions.

A young man fell into a deep coma, but recovered before his friends had buried him. One of his friends ask him what it felt like to be dead.

"Dead? I wasn't dead and I knew it because I was hungry and my feet were cold."

"But, how did that make you so sure?"

"Well, I knew if I was in heaven I wouldn't be hungry, and if I were in the other place, my feet wouldn't be cold."

A robber walked into a music store and then everybody got down!