Best Jokes

Mikey: "I ate a submarine sandwich for lunch and I think I'm going to be sick."

Mother: "What makes you say that?"

Mikey: "It's starting to surface."

"I get the feeling I'm going to get my old boss back again."

"I thought your old boss died?"

"He did die... and the company's going to the same place that he did!"

Back in the day, we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Johnny Cash. Now we have no jobs, no hope, and no cash.

Please don't let Kevin Bacon die!

Teacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad's do for a living.

Little Mary says: ''My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail.”

Little Jack says: ''My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better.”

All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny.

Teacher says: ''Little Johnny, what does your Dad do?''

Little Johnny says: ''My Dad is dead.''

''I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?''

''He turned blue and fell on the carpet.''