Best Jokes

A snail was involved in an accident that resulted in his shell being torn completely off.

Hearing about the accident, one of his friends rushed over (as much as a snail can rush) to his friend's house.

"I heard about your accident!" he exclaimed, and then asked, "How are you feeling?"

The recovering snail answered, "Sluggish."

What's a robot's favorite snack?

Computer chips!

There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson.

She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home. The man comes home and his wife jumps out and screams in his face.

He just looks at her and says, “You don't scare me. I am married to your sister!”

A man showed some friends his apartment. One guest asked, "What's that big brass basin for?"

"That's the talking clock," answered the man.

He gave it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer.

Suddenly, a voice on the other side of the wall screamed, "Knock it off! Don't you know that it's 2:00 A.M.!"