Best Jokes

Wilfred had just learned his ABC's and was very scared of reciting them in front of his class. He stood in front of the class trembling and began, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z."

His teacher said, "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot P. Where's the P?"

He replied," It's running down my leg."

A Grandmother asked her teenage grandson to lightly water the plants outside in the backyard, but to not wet the grass because the younger grandchildren wanted to go out to play in the yard. She didn't want the yard to be muddy for them to walk through. The teenage grandson happily said he understood and went outside to begin watering the plants.

A few moments later the Grandmother looked out the window and was surprised to see her teenage grandson using the water hose to spray water all over the grass in the yard. She ran outside to ask him why he was soaking the grass in water, causing the entire yard to turn muddy.

He replied, "To rinse the morning dew off the grass so it won't be wet when the kids come out to play."

A friend of mine, a professional organist, was asked to play for a wedding. Unfamiliar with the church's organ, she went to the sanctuary to practice.

Curious about a small keyboard that slid out from under the two regular keyboards, she tapped out a couple of bars of a children's song but heard nothing. Then she played a few more notes, but still no organ music.

Just then a man came running into the church, shouting, "Who's playing 'Three Blind Mice' on the church-steeple bells?"

Teacher: Where were you born?

Student: Tiruvananthapuram.

Teacher: Spell it.

Student: Sorry, I meant Goa.