Best Jokes

$12.00 won 11 votes

Interviewer: "How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?"

Me: "That’s when I went to Yale..."

Interviewer: "That’s impressive. You are hired."

Me: "Thanks. I really need this yob."

11 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Gegg Smith" |
$8.00 won 11 votes

As I was waiting in the Doctor's office the day after Christmas I accidentally overheard a conversation between the desk employee and another patient on the phone.

Employee: "Ma'am the Doctor's office will be closed for the next few days due to the snow storm headed into town. Would you please choose a date to reschedule? Would sometime next week be fine?

I could hear the patient on the phone getting upset and not wanting to change her appointment.

Trying to be as polite as he could, the employee began again: "But ma'am when you show up this week for your appointment no one will be here because of the snow storm."

I then heard yelling from the woman on the line before she abruptly hung up. The employee shook his head in disbelief. Trying to make his day a little better I said, "You would think after Christmas people would have a better attitude."

Employee: "She's more Halloween than Christmas!"

11 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Laugh and Enjoy Life" |
$50.00 won 11 votes

One day a husband says to his wife, “Today is a fine day!” Next day he says it again. “Today is a fine day.” Again next day, he says same thing, “Today is a fine day.”

Finally after a week, the wife asks her husband, “Since last week, you are saying today is a fine day. I am fed up. What’s the matter?”

"Last week when we had an argument, you said, 'I will leave you one fine day.' I was just trying to remind you."

11 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "mickey" |
$50.00 won 11 votes
rating rating rating rating rating

Wilfred had just learned his ABC's and was very scared of reciting them in front of his class. He stood in front of the class trembling and began, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z."

His teacher said, "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot P. Where's the P?"

He replied," It's running down my leg."

11 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "tweetyr" |