Best Jokes

Why did Miss Muffet need directions?

She lost her Whey.

The zoo keeper found a new employee standing uneasy next to the lion's cage.

Zoo keeper: "Didn't I tell you that when the lion is wagging his tail, he was friendly?"

Employee: "He was wagging his tail and roaring at the same time."

Zoo keeper: "So, what's that got to do with it?"

Employee: "Well, I don't know which end to trust."

I took my seven year old son to the zoo today. We were walking around and soon he said, “Look Dad! It's a frickin' Elephant!” I was shocked and slightly angry, as everybody was looking at us.

“What did you just call it?” I asked.

“It's a frickin' Elephant, it says so on the picture!” he said, and so it did, A F R I C A N Elephant.

My cousin was in love and wanted to introduce his bride-to-be to his super-critical mother. But in order to get an unbiased opinion, he invited over three other female friends as well and didn’t tell his mom which one he intended to marry. After the four women left, he asked his mother, "Can you guess which one I want to marry?"

"The one with short hair."

"Yes! How’d you know?"

"Because that’s the one I didn’t like."