Mary Jones was debating on the best means of dropping her current flame.
Her friend ask: "Are you worried because you think he'll tell lies about you?"
Mary answered: "I don't mind the lies, but if he ever tells the truth I will break his neck!"
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Doctor: Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you.
Patient: I can't, I'm not allowed on the furniture.
Father: You better pass that exam or else forget that I'm your father.
Son: Ok, dad.
Next day
Father: How was your exam?
Son: Who are you?
People think "icy" is the easiest word to spell...
Come to think of it, I see why.