Best Jokes

Where do fish go on vacation?

To Finland!

Mamma Bird: "Are you feeling alright? What's wrong?"

Baby Bird: "I shouldn't have eaten that caterpillar sandwich before the interview. Now I have butterflies in my stomach."

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. Furthermore, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and write ”Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

"Honey" she said,"'you received a very strange post card today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:

Spaghetti
Spaghetti
Spaghetti
Spaghetti
Spaghetti

Three with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce