Best Jokes

I’ve started growing herbs in my garden.

To help identify them I’m growing them in alphabetical order.

My neighbour asked me, “How do you find the time?”

I said, “Easy, it’s right here next to the sage.”

A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss”. He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said, “Your wife called, she wants her sign back!”

Teacher: Why are you late, John?

John: Because of the sign down the road.

Teacher: What does sign have to do with you being late?

John: The sign said 'School Ahead, Go SLOW!'

An angry customer and an apologetic Domino’s Pizza:

Customer: Yo, I ordered a Pizza and it came with no toppings on it or anything, Its just plain bread!

Domino’s: We’re extremely sorry to hear about this.

Customer (minutes later): Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down!