Best Jokes

Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all over town. That meant, as a customer service rep for the electric company, I was dispatching repairmen right and left.

When one lineman called a customer to get her exact address, he was told, "I'm at Post Office Box 99."

The weary lineman replied, "Ma'am, I'll be coming to you in a truck, not an envelope."

The Priest was shaking hands after his sermon, My grandma said, "Reverend that was the longest sermon I've ever listened to, it was boring as well."

The Priest was surprised and I wanted to mend fences so I told him, "Father, pay no attention to her, she only repeats what she hears other people saying."

A woman in my office recently divorced after years of marriage, had signed up for a refresher CPR course.

"Is it hard to learn?" someone asked.

"Not at all," my co-worker replied. "Basically you're asked to breathe life into a dummy. I don't expect to have any problem. I did that for 12 years."

I use Pantene. What do you use?
Mark's.
I use Dove soap. What do you use?
Mark's.
I use Olay lotion. What do you use?
Mark's.
Is Mark an international Brand?
No, Mark is my roommate!