Best Jokes

A traveling salesman was held up in the west by a rainstorm and flood. He e-mails his office in NY: “Delayed by storm. Send instructions”
His boss e-mails back: “Start vacation immediately”

Two barbershops were in red-hot competition. One put up a sign advertising haircuts for $7 dollars.

His competitor put one up that read, “We repair $7 dollars hair cuts!”

A doctor calls his patient and says, "The check you gave me for my bill came back?"

The patient replied, "Well, so did my arthritis."

The new army recruit was serving his first guard duty. He did his best for a while but about 5 a.m. she went to sleep. When he opened his eyes he found the day officer standing before him. Remembering the stiff penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this clever young man kept his head bowed for another moment, then looked upward and reverently said, “A-a-a-men!”