Best Jokes

One psychologist greets another on the street: "You're fine, how am I?"

A skydiver is enjoying his free-fall, when he realizes that he has reached the altitude where he must open his parachute. He pulls the ripcord, but nothing happens. “No problem,” he says to himself, “I still have my emergency chute.”

So he pulls the ripcord on his emergency parachute, and once again, nothing happens. Now the man begins to panic. “What am I going to do?” He thinks. “I’m a goner.”

Just then, he sees a man flying up from the earth toward him. He can’t figure out where this man is coming from or what he’s doing, but he says to himself, “I hope he can help me. If he can’t, then I’m in real trouble.”

When the man gets close enough to him, the skydiver cups his hands and shouts, “Hey, do you know anything about parachutes?”

The man coming up cups his hands and yells back, “No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?”

An entrepreneurial woman is sitting at a bar a man approaches her and says; hi honey! want a little company? Why? Asks the woman. Do you have one to sell??

Why did the woman only change her baby’s diaper once a month?
On the package it read "good for up to 15 pounds"