Best Jokes

$25.00 won 6 votes

On day when returning home from work my wife proceeded to tell me that she had been called into the principal's office because of the things OUR SON had done at school that day.

We agreed that he should be disciplined the same was I was disciplined when I was his age: being sent to my room without supper.

But in my son's room, he has his own color TV, telephone, computer, and CD player. So what is a parent to do in this day and age?

We sent him to MY room!

6 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Egbert" |
$10.00 won 6 votes

Teacher: "What do you get when a waiter trips?"

Student: "Flying Saucers!"

6 votes

posted by "Bhanu Sandesh" |
6 votes

As I was going to visit a friend, I saw my neighbor’s little child at the street corner holding two dollars and crying. I asked him, ”Junior, what is the matter?”

He replied, ”My mummy gave me one dollar to buy sugar and one dollar to buy soy milk, and now I can't remember which dollar is for sugar and which dollar is for the milk.”

6 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "Nwosu Franklin" |
$6.00 won 6 votes

Three strings were standing outside of a bar, a bar that doesn't serve strings...

One string says to the other two strings: "I'm sure I can get served" and enters the bar, he walks up to the bar and asks the bartender for a drink, the bartender looks up and asks: "Aren't you a string"? and the string replies: "yes". The bartender then says: "I'm sorry but we don't serve strings in this bar" ...so the string ducks his head and leaves the bar.

The other two strings waiting outside immediately asked what happened, the string tells them he didn't get served and wants to leave, the second string says: "I'm pretty certain I can get served, you just have to act cool", so he enters the bar, starts jamming to the music and dances up to the bar and says: "Bartender, give a cold brewsky"! The bartender looks up at him, sees he's a string and says: "sorry but we don't serve strings in this bar" ...so the string ducks his head and leaves the bar.
He tells the other two strings waiting outside that he couldn't get served and he too wants to go home... the third string who's certain he has what it takes to get served says: "You just have to act like you've been here before" and quickly goes inside...

The third string getting real loud as he works his way through the bar says: "hey Bob, hey Jill, good seeing you! Wow was the band ever rockin' last night, boy was I wasted!... Yo' bartender!!, give me the usual Jack-n-Coke!!!" The bartender looks up at him, sees he's a string and says: "Sorry pal but we don't serve strings in this bar" ...instantly the third string turns and ducks his head toward the door when he suddenly gets this bright idea, he quickly ties himself in a knot, messes up his hair, walks back up to bar and says: "Bartender give me that drink!" ...the bartender looks up at him and says: "Hey! Aren't you a string?" and the string says: "No!, I'm a frayed knot!"

6 votes

posted by "Funnyguy" |