Best Jokes

After a hard day of drilling, the drill sergeant let the troops go. "All right, you idiots, report to the mess hall." Everybody walked away, sweating and their heads down, thankful for the end of the hard day. Only one private remained. He looked at the officer and sincerely said, "Boy, there sure were a lot of them, huh, serge."

Two guys are in a car. The driver comes to a stoplight and goes right through it. His friend says, " What are you doing." The driver says, " Its ok my brother does it all the time." They come up to another stoplight and they go right through. His friend says, “You are out of your mind.” The driver says, “Its ok my brother does it all the time.” They come up to a green light and he stops. His friend says, “Its green, go.” Driver says, I can’t my brother might be coming!

Did you hear about the man in the hospital who's doctor came into his room an said "I have some bad and good news for you". The man said; “What is the bad news? The doctor said; "We need to cut off both your legs”. The man said, “What is the good news”. The doctor answered, “The man in the bed next to you wants to buy your slippers!

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday school, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."