A man is incomplete until he is married… then he is finished.
One guy says to another, "They say brunettes have a sweeter disposition than blondes and redheads."
The other guy says, "Don’t believe it! My wife has been all three and I couldn’t see any difference."
A tornado hit a farmhouse just before dawn. It lifted the roof off, picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept, and set them down gently in the next county. The wife began to cry.
“Don’t be scared, Susan,” her husband said. “We are not hurt.”
Susan continued to cry. “I’m not scared,” she said between sobs. “I’m happy ‘cause this is the first time in 15 years we’ve been out together.
Mary said to her neighbor, “Don’t tell me you believe your husband’s story that he spent the day fishing. Why, he didn’t come home with a single fish.”
That’s why I believe him,” the neighbor said.