Best Jokes

Wayne, who has been impatiently waiting for a friend: "Where have you been all afternoon?"

Friend: "I just saw the movie 'Henry the Sixteenth'."

Wayne: "You mean 'Henry the Eight', where did you get 'Henry the Sixteenth'?"

Friend: "I sat through it twice."

My new neighbor, Hans, just moved to the states from Norway and was arrested for speeding... driving 66 miles an hour in a 50 mph zone. However, he explained to the officer, "I saw a big sign with 66 on it."

"That's highway 66," the officer said disgustedly.

Hans replied, "You should have seen me yesterday on Highway 110!"

Son: "Mom, do fairies fly?"

Mom: "Yes honey, they do. Why do you ask?"

Kid: "This morning dad told the maid that she looks like Tinkerbell, the fairy. Does that mean she will fly too?"

Mom: "Oh yes, she will fly right out of this house!"

A sleeping beggar puts a sign in front of him. The sign reads:

Please do not make noise by dropping coins... Use dollar bills instead.