Best Jokes

“I don’t want a car,” said the farmer to the persistent salesman. “I need a new cow.”
“But you can’t ride a cow along the streets.”
“True. But I can’t milk a new car, can I?”

A little boy was doing his homework one evening and turned to his father and said,
“Dad, where would I find the Andes?
“Don’t ask me,” said the father. “Ask your mother. She puts everything away in this house.”

A sign outside of a restaurant boasted “We serve anything you want,”
So one smart Alec went in, and ordered roast monkey and chips.
“Certainly, sir,” said the waiter and went into the kitchen only to reappear
a few minutes later looking very disappointed.
“No monkey,” smirked the smart Alec.
“It’s not that sir. We have run out of potatoes.”

“Have you got any kittens going cheap?” Asked a customer in a pet shop.
“No, sir,” replied the owner. “All our kittens go “Meow.”