Best Jokes

A cheating painting contractor has been skimping by thinning his paint excessively. Nevertheless, he lands a big job painting a church. He's almost done when a major storm comes up. It washes all the paint off. Midst the thunder and lightening, a loud voice is heard, REPAINT, and REPAINT, THIN NO MORE!

Q: What did the zero say to the eight?
A: Nice belt.

What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year the dog is still happy to see you.

Q: Where do cows go on Fridays?
A: To the Moooovies