Best Jokes

An elderly couple is getting ready for bed. She says Oh I am just so hungry for ice cream and there isn't any in the house." He says, “I’ll go get some." She says, "Vanilla with chocolate sauce, with whipped cream on top and a cherry." She adds, "Please write it down, I know you'll forget." He says, “I won't forget; Vanilla with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and a cherry."
Away he goes. Hours later he comes back and hands her a paper bag. "In it is a "HAM SANDWICH". She says,” I told you to write it down! You forgot the mustard."

Dad: Hey son what is 2 x 2?

Son: A tie...

Dad: Ok, what is 2 x 1?

Son: An offer!

Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was
losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring
out the animal in me."

"So what?" his wife shot back. "Who is afraid of a mouse?"

Two young skunks named -In-and-Out go out to play.
after a while Out got bored so he went in.
Mummy skunk said that tea was ready and sent Out, out to tell In to come in.
very quickly Out came in with In.
That was quick said mummy skunk how did you find In so fast?
Oh said Out that was easy. “IN STINKED.”