I intend to live forever – so far, so good.
How does the man on the moon get his hair cut?
“ Eclipse it.”
Did you hear about the skunk that went to church?
“He had his own pew.”
Did you hear about the snail that got beat up by two turtles?
At the police station they asked him, “Did you get a good look at the turtles that did this?"
He said, “No, it all happened so fast.”