Best Jokes

“I see you’re losing your hair.”
“Nonsense. I know exactly where it is – down the bathroom sink.”

At a psychiatrist a man says, Doctor, I think there are two of me.
The doctor replies, Well, why don’t you both sit down and one of you tell me all about it.

A man visits his doctor and says, doctor, I keep seeing green Martians before my eyes.
The doctor asks have you seen a psychiatrist?
The patient says, "No Only green Martians!"

A man takes his dog to the vet. “My dog is crossed eyed, is there anything you can do for him? “Well,” says the vet, “let’s take a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.”
“What? Because he is cross-eyed?”
“No, because he’s really heavy.”