Best Jokes

The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!"

There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he said. "Just think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"

As little Johnny's mother was tucking him in after reading a bedtime story, she made the remark that God made eyes to see, ears to hear, noses to smell, and feet to run.

"I think God got mixed up," said little Johnny.

"Why do you think that?" inquired his mother.

"Because it's the other way around, my nose runs and my feet smell."

Why are ghosts bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them.

What did the time traveler do when he finished his meal and was still hungry?

He went back "four" seconds.