A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the manager said.
"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was. One of the poor fellows turned to the wealthy fellow and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place, the grass is almost 1 foot high!"
Lesson: Never trust managers... They will go to any extreme to finish their job.
It was enough to startle the little old lady out of her roots. There was the fish market person tossing trout clear across his shop to a man in fisherman uniform.
The fishermen caught six fish and then said: "All right Joe. Now I can truthfully tell my wife I caught six fish today."
A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached the city of Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch.
At the counter, the husband asked the not-so-bright waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?"
She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."
What do you call a sleeping bull?