Best Jokes

Rajiv and Priya are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives."

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later, Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, “Priya, did we pay our deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?”


“No, sweetheart” she responds.

Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, “Priya, did we pay our ICICI Bank Mastercard yet?”

“Oh no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the cheque,” she says.

“One last thing, Priya. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to them too this month?” he asks.

“Oh, forgive me, Rajiv,” begged Priya. “I didn’t send that one, either.”

Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Priya pulls away and asks him, “So, why did you hug me?”

“Rajiv answers, “They’ll find us!”

The police officer approaches the driver, "When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least."

The lady driver looks at the officer and replies, "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old."

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.