Best Jokes

My credit is so bad, I received a credit card offer that was PRE-DECLINED.

Ravi: How does your family all use just one car?

Bhanu: It's simple. My wife uses it for shopping and to run errands, my son uses it for school, and I use it to go to the gas station to fill-up again.

My fellow teacher called for help—she needed someone who knew about animals. As a science teacher, I filled the bill. "Oh," she added, "bring a net."

Expecting to find some kind of beast as I entered her classroom, I was greeted instead by the sight of excited kids watching a hummingbird fly around. Rather than use the net, I suggested they hang red paper by an open door. The bird would be drawn to it, I explained, and eventually fly out.

Later, the teacher called back. The trick worked. "Now," she said, "we have two hummingbirds flying around the room."