Best Jokes

What Birds Go To Church?
Bird Of Pray!

Q: A man leaves his house and makes three left turns. On his way home, he passes two guys in masks. What does he do for a living? A: He is a baseball player!

Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City?
To see who shot his "paw."

A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking to buy a monkey. The store owner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically-correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats.
"The one on the left costs $500," says the store owner.
"Why so much?" asks the customer.
"Because it can program in C," answers the store owner.
The customer inquires about the next monkey and is told, "That one costs $1500, because it knows Visual C++ and Object-Relational technology."
The startled man then asks about the third monkey. "That one costs $3000," answers the store owner.
"3000 dollars!!" exclaims the man. "What can that one do?"
To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen it do a single thing, but it calls itself a Consultant."