Best Jokes

As my sister relaxed on the couch, her head comfortably leaning against the crook of her husband’s arm, her cell phone beeped.

She looked at her phone. It was a text message from her husband.

The message: "Please Move."

On a billboard ad for a safe company...

"If your stuff is stolen, it’s not our vault!"

Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia with a Mastercard?

Because his Visa didn’t work.

Thanksgiving Day was approaching and the family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on their way to church.

Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing: "The Pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers."

"Oh yeah?" her young grandson replied. "Then why is their dad carrying that rifle?"