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Favorite this joke Pulling into my service station 45 minutes late one morning, I shouted to the customers, "I’ll turn the pumps on right away!"
What I didn’t know was that the night crew had left them on all night. By the time I got to the office, most of the cars had filled up and driven off. Only one customer stayed to pay.
My heart sank. Then the customer pulled a wad of cash from his pocket and handed it to me.
"We kept passing the money to the last guy," he said. "We figured you’d get here sooner or later."
Teacher: "Class, in this final exam, everybody should get at least 75% marks."
Student: "We are all trying for 100% sir!"
Teacher: "Are you being serious?"
Student: "Well, no sir. But it was you who cracked a joke first."
One Spring afternoon, I came home to find two little girls on the steps of my building. Both were crying hard, shedding big tears. Thinking they might be hurt, I dropped my briefcase and quickly went over to them. "Are you all right?" I asked.
Still sobbing, one held up her doll. "My baby's arm came off," she said.
I took the doll and its disjointed arm. After a little effort and luck, the doll was again whole. "Thank you," came a whisper from the girl as I handed her the doll back. Next, looking into the tearful eyes of her friend, I asked, "And what's the matter with you, young lady?"
She wiped her cheeks and said, "Oh I'm okay, I was just helping her cry."
A lady was taking her first golf lesson. She asked the instructor, "Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?"
"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "P-u-t means to place something where you want it. P-u-t-t means, merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
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