Best Jokes

A piece of gold walked into a Texas bar...

The bartender said, “Au, get out of here!”

I don’t know why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day...

When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

Morris had been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment, but his technique never improved a bit.

As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods.

"Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend Sam asked.

"I've never had an old ball," Morris said.

Father: Little Johnny, I see by your report card that you are not doing well in history. How come?

Little Johnny: I can’t help it. The teacher always asks me about things that happened before I was born.