Best Jokes

Let's say there is a hundred dollar bill in the center of a room. In each of the corners there is a person. In one corner there is a Santa Claus; in another, the Easter Bunny; in another a smart Antartian and in the last a dumb Antartian. They all notice the hundred-dollar bill in the center of the room. They all make a dash for the bill... who gets to the bill first???
Answer: The dumb Antartian; the others don't exist!!

An American tourist was lunching in a restaurant in China where the specialty was duck. The waiter explained each dish as he brought it to the table. "This is the breast of the duck; this the leg of the duck; this is the wing of the duck; etc." Then came the dish that the American knew was chicken. He waited for the explanation. Silence. "Well?" he finally asked, "What's this?" The waiter replied, "It's a friend of duck."

Q: What do you do when an Antartian throws a pin at you?
A: Run, because the grenade is in her mouth!!

1. If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.
2. Don't go out without ID.
3. Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
4. Always give people a friendly greeting.
5. If it's not wet and sloppy...it's not a good kiss.