Best Jokes

A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves,
"What are you doing in there?" she asked.
The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"
The lady confirmed, "Yes." "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."

On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the caged stork for a long time.

He waved, jumped up and down, and stared at the stork a while longer.

Finally, turning to his father, he exclaimed, "Gee, Dad, he doesn't recognize me."

Said the officer to the soldier, "Private, why did you salute that refrigerator?"
The soldier replied, "Because it was General Electric."
"And that jeep?" the officer asked.
Replied the soldier, "Because it was General Motors."

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE
Submitted by Jonalee Echols from Bullard Texas.
1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.
3. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
6. When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'em tuned up.
7. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc them to your boss.
9. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
10. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.