Best Jokes

"January 1, 2000, is a Saturday. So if the world comes to an end for a couple of days, it'll be OK. We've all had weekends like that." -- Reed Hundt, former Chairman of the FCC

Jack: "My brother was sick and went to the doctor."
John: "Is he feeling better now?"
Jack: "No, he has a broken arm."
John: "How did he break it?"
Jack: "Well, the doctor gave him a prescription and told him no matter what happened, to follow that prescription. And the prescription blew out of the window."
John: "How did he break his arm?"
Jack: "He fell out of the window trying to follow the prescription."

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, gee, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps and be a doctor! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

Two robins were lying on their backs, basking in the sun. A mama cat and her kitten were walking by.

The kitten complained, "Mamma, I'm soooo hungry! What can we eat?"

To which the mamma cat, spying the two birds, replied, "How about some baskin' robbins?"