Best Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bamboo.

Q: What's a haunted chicken?
A: Poultry-geist.

Q: Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
A: Because he was in need of a light snack.

Q: Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?-
A: Have you ever tried to iron a monster?

Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A: Boo boos.

Q: Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.

Q: Why do mummies make excellent spies?
A: They're good at keeping things under wraps.

Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bamboo.

Q: What's a haunted chicken?
A: Poultry-geist.

Q: Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
A: Because he was in need of a light snack.

Q: Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?-
A: Have you ever tried to iron a monster?

Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A: Boo boos.

Q: Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.

Q: Why do mummies make excellent spies?
A: They're good at keeping things under wraps.

It's time for all bad spellers to untie.
I yell because i care.
Is it true that cannibals won't eat a clown because they're afraid they will
Taste funny?
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Pets welcome: children must be on leash.
He who laughs last, has the best lawyer.
Actually i am a rocket scientist.
I've been dieting for 31 days and all i lost was 31 days.
Warning: i have an attitude and i know how to use it.
Take me drunk i'm home again
Don't do what i say do what i mean
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
I'm looking for the upper taker not the undertaker.
General custer wore arrow shirts.
The word verb is actually a noun.
It's not whether you win or lose, what counts is if i win or lose

A duck walked into a bakery one day and asked for a pork chop.
The baker said, "We aren't a butcher; we don't sell meat here."
So the duck left.
The following day the duck went back and asked again.
This time the Baker said, "No, if you come here again I will nail your feet
to the floor."
The following day the duck returned and asked, "Have you any nails?"
The baker replied, "No." And the duck said, "Well, I'll have two pork chops then."