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The Old Man and the Sea
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" 
The pirate replies "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off". 
"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about the hook"? 
"Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand clean off." 
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? 
"A seagull dropping fell into my eye", replied the pirate. 
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked. 
"Well..." said the pirate, "That was my first day with the hook." 

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posted by "Lazarus" |
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A man left home one morning. He turned right and ran straight ahead. Then he turned left. After awhile, he turned left again, running faster than ever. Then he turned left once more and decided to go home. In the distance he could see two masked men waiting for him. Who were they?
The umpire and the catcher, it was a baseball game!

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Anonymous" |
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A man left home one morning. He turned right and ran straight ahead. Then he turned left. After awhile, he turned left again, running faster than ever. Then he turned left once more and decided to go home. In the distance he could see two masked men waiting for him. Who were they?
The umpire and the catcher, it was a baseball game!

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Anonymous" |
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A guy runs into the bar and says, "Quick, pour me 5 shots of your best scotch." The bartender pours them and the man drinks them as fast as he can. "Wow that's the fastest I've seen anyone drink," says the bartender. "Well you'd drink that fast if you had what I had," The man says "Oh my god," the bartender says, "What do you have?" The man replies "50 cents."

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Anonymous" |