Best Jokes

You know what really hurts me inside?

Internal bleeding.

Steve met the family doctor on the street.

"I hear your wife has gone to Palm Beach for her health," began the doctor. "What did she have?"

"Eight hundred dollars her father gave her," answered Steve.

Writing a horror screenplay. It starts off with a ringing phone.

The person answers and it’s their mom saying, “I have a computer question..."

Mr. Boggs was halted by the highway patrol who informed him that he was going seventy-five miles an hour in a twenty-five mile an hour zone.

"I wasn't going seventy-five!" protested Mr. Boggs. "I wasn't even going sixty, I wasn't even going fifty, I wasn't even going forty, I wasn't even going..."

"Hey look out," said the highway patrol person. "At this rate you will be backing into something soon enough..."