Best Jokes

$50.00 won 12 votes

I took my seven year old son to the zoo today. We were walking around and soon he said, “Look Dad! It's a frickin' Elephant!” I was shocked and slightly angry, as everybody was looking at us.

“What did you just call it?” I asked.

“It's a frickin' Elephant, it says so on the picture!” he said, and so it did, A F R I C A N Elephant.

12 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "mickey" |
$8.00 won 12 votes

My cousin was in love and wanted to introduce his bride-to-be to his super-critical mother. But in order to get an unbiased opinion, he invited over three other female friends as well and didn’t tell his mom which one he intended to marry. After the four women left, he asked his mother, "Can you guess which one I want to marry?"

"The one with short hair."

"Yes! How’d you know?"

"Because that’s the one I didn’t like."

12 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "mickey" |
$25.00 won 12 votes

A man arrives at the repair shop to pick-up his watch.

Clerk: "I haven't finished repairing it yet. just give me a few more minutes.

Man: "Sure, no problem."

The man goes and stands right next to the clerk, who notices him but continues working. After a while, he can't take it anymore.

Clerk: "Why are you sticking so close to me?"

Man: "I'm only doing what the sign outside your door says."

Clerk: "And what is that, may I ask?"

Man: "It says, 'Watch Repairs.'"

12 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Clown" |
$50.00 won 12 votes

You know what really hurts me inside?

Internal bleeding.

12 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Narvon7" |