Best Jokes

Why were all of the ladies at the surprise party staring at the pair of handsome chromosomes?

Because they weren't wearing any genes!

I had been in heaven as an Apprentice Angel for about three months and was enjoying my stay. The day came when I was called to visit God.

GOD: "You are about to get your wings."

ME: "Lemon pepper or barbeque?"

GOD: "Get out... just go..."

A farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbor’s, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is your Dad home?"

"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."

"Well, is your Mother here?"

"No sir, she went to town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Jeffrey? Is he here?"

"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Jeffrey getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant.”

The boy thought for a moment. "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Jeffrey."

What do you see when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?

U.C.L.A...