An Orderly in a Paratrooper battalion must make a jump once a month. The Captain rushes in and says, "I know you have a lot of work so I have transportation for you to our airport, a plane waiting for you, a Jeep will be on the ground waiting to whisk you back quickly."
The Orderly goes out and there isn't any transportation and they have to call for it. When they get to the airport the plane is late getting there. He gets on the plane and has to wait for someone to bring his parachute. When he finally jumps he pulls his cord and the chute doesn't open, he pulls his emergency cord and that don,t work also.
He says to himself, "I bet the Jeep won't be there either!"
10 reasons you might be an artist:
10) You were more concerned about the color of your car than the fuel consumption.
9) The highlights in your hair are from your palette and not Clairol.
8) You are having lunch with the girls and the fragrance you wear is eau d'linseed oil.
7) The only piece of new furniture you have in your home is a $2000 easel.
6) You butter your toast with your fingers, just to feel its texture.
5) You talk about going to a show where the pictures don't move.
4) You know what shade of green the lichen on the trees is.
3) You can't find a nice outfit for your date because everything has paint smears on.
2) Your date ends up with paint smears on her/him.
And the final reason you might be an artist...
#1) If you are over age 50 and still have no health insurance.