Best Jokes

$8.00 won 11 votes

The teacher was describing the dolphin and its habits.

"And, children, "she said impressively, "a single dolphin will have two thousand offspring."

"Goodness!" gasped a little girl in the back row. "And how about married ones?"

11 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Bhanu Sandesh" |
$8.00 won 11 votes

It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it...

He keeps standing by the window, staring. If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in.

11 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Chloe2015" |
$25.00 won 11 votes

Pinkie Pinkerton lived in a pink one story house on Pink Street. The walls were pink, the roof was pink, the carpet was pink, the flowers were pink, the pictures were pink, the furniture was pink, the bathroom was pink, her stuff was pink, the yard was pink, even her cat was pink. EVERYTHING was pink. So what color were the stairs in Pinkie Pinkerton's house?

11 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Laugh and Enjoy Life" |
$50.00 won 11 votes

A man wakes up and finds himself in a hospital room, one with only himself in it. He has no recollection of how he got there. While pondering it, his bedside phone rings, and he answers it. A doctor on the other end identifies himself, and tells the man, "I have really bad news. You're very sick. After your collapse yesterday, we ordered several tests, and got the results back this morning. I'm afraid you have Avain flu, Ebola, and you're positive for HIV and hepatitis."

Stunned, the man asks, "Well, what's next!? What are you going to do?"

The doctor replies, "Well, for starters, we're putting you on a strict diet of only pizza."

"Will that really help me, doctor?"

"No", the doctor begins, "but it's all we can fit under the the door."

11 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Laugh and Enjoy Life" |