Best Jokes

I'm always in the right place!

Unfortunately it's always at the wrong time.

A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space.

Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.

"Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man.

She rolled down her window and yelled back, "What makes you think these are all mine?"

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before.

"What seems to be the problem, madam?"

"I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way."

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you "can't" go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport, you have to be driven there. I've made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family, and work.

I have also been in Doubt. That's a sad place to go, and I try not to visit too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense. It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart. At my age I need all the stimuli I can get.