Best Jokes

I went on a date with a girl who said she loved animals.

I said, "I work with animals every day."

She said, "That's so sweet. What do you do?"

I replied, "I'm a butcher!"

We never went on a second date.

Texting acronyms can stump even the best of moms:

Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL.

Son: Why is that funny?

Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean?

Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud.

Mom: I thought it meant Lots of Love. I have to call everyone back.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry.

Mom: WTF!

Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means?

Mom: Well That’s Fantastic.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean?

Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.

Mom: Okay, I will ask your sister.

We were all in the hospital for the last time with our family and at some point my Aunt asked who of us want coffee. We were all die hard coffee drinkers and we all agreed so my aunt said "ok, i'll bring full tray".

My Grandpa lifted his head for the last time and said "rather bring the coffee in a cup, it's so hard to drink from the tray"

He was Amazing...