Best Jokes

Just found out on my tax return that there's a limit on dependents...


I thought 45 was reasonable, but I was wrong.

A paperboy said to a customer one day, "Mr. Smith, I wish I had twenty customers like you."

"Gosh, that's nice to hear," said Smith, "but I'm kind of surprised considering I never tip all that well and always pay late."

The paperboy said, "I know, but I'd still like twenty customers like you. The problem is I have one hundred and forty!"

My daughter asked me, "What is a unit a power?"

I replied, "Correct."

You miss 100% of the shots you DON'T take...

You also miss 95% of the shots you DO take...

You stink and you're off the team is basically what I'm trying to say.