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Favorite this joke Studying our wedding photos, my six-year-old asked, “Did you marry Dad because he was good-looking?”
“Not really,” I replied.
“Did you marry him for his money?”
“Definitely not,” I laughed. “He didn’t have any.”
“So,” he said, “you just felt sorry for him?”
Shortly after reporting to the 101st Airborne Division, we were ordered to fall out in our dress uniforms. Only problem was, I didn't know how to tie a necktie. So I asked the guy in the next bunk for help.
"Sure," he said. "Lie down."
Confused, I lay down on the bunk and he tied my tie. "Sorry, but this is the only way I know how," he said. "Comes from practicing on my father's clients."
"What does your father do?"
"He's a mortician."
"Doctor, doctor, I swallowed a bone."
"Are you choking?"
"No, I really did!"
Me: "Oh God, please save me!"
God: "Would you prefer as a JPEG file or a PDF file?"
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