Best Jokes

After boarding and taking off for a long flight over the ocean, the speaker comes on with an important message for passengers.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are introducing you today to the latest and newest aviation advancement in history. This plane is flying without a pilot or co-pilot. It is controlled by way of radio from the ground. Sit back and relax and enjoy your flight. Be assured that absolutely nothing can go wrong, absolutely nothing can go wrong, absolutely nothing can go wrong, absolutely nothing can go wrong. ~~~~~~~~~~"

Man: I know how to 'please' a woman.

Woman: Good, then 'please' leave me alone.

Little Johnny: Dad, Is it true? I heard that in some countries where arranged marriage is a custom, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries!

Father: Son, that happens everywhere, after marriage you find out everything!