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Favorite this joke Pirate: I have moles on me back aaarrrghh.
Doc: It's ok, they're benign.
Pirate: Count again, I think there be ten!
Although desperate to find work, I passed on a job I found on an employment website. It was for a wastewater plant operator.
Among the job requirements: "Must be able to swim."
A criminal has an idea for a business. To execute the crooked plan he hires a partner. He explains everything, “First, you secretly flatten people’s car tires. Then, offer our tire changing service through an advertisement. Got it?”
A few weeks later, after getting no customers, the cops show up at their tire changing garage, placing them under arrest due to suspicious advertising. On the way to jail, the criminal who thought up the plan asks the partner about the advertisement.
“Well, I had a great idea. I realized we could save ourselves a lot of time by stabbing our flyer directly into the tire.”
A 55 year old man who was born on May 5, has been married 5 years, has 5 children, makes $55,555.55 a year, trusts the number 5.
One day a friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening. Excitedly, the man withdraws 5,555.00 cash from his bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5.
Sure enough, the horse comes in fifth.
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