Did you hear about the two bed bugs that met in a mattress?
They got married in spring.
I am getting married for the 5th time...
Having been married 4 times before I can tell when it's right!
A police officer says to a couple: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your son set the school on fire".
They asked: “Arson?
The officer replies: “Yes, your son!”
A Union President was sitting at his son's bedside getting ready to read him a bedtime story.
He starts out, "Once upon a time and a half..."