Best Jokes

$5.00 won 5 votes

Wife's Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting strange.

We went to a nice restaurant for dinner. I thought he was upset by the fact that I was a bit late, but he said nothing about it. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was something I had done. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, and again he said nothing. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm sure his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary: Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out!!

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Leogal" |
5 votes

To prepare for my daughter's First Communion, I called the church in the town where we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate.

We lived there for only a short while, so I didn't know the clergy well. When the secretary asked me the name of the father, I told her that I couldn't remember.

After a brief silence, she said, "Ma'am, I'm talking about the name of the baby's father."

5 votes

posted by "Retired Terp" |
$5.00 won 5 votes

Teacher: "How much is half of 8?"

Little Johnny: "Up and down or across?"

Teacher: "What do you mean?"

Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"

5 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "S.Sovetts" |
$5.00 won 5 votes

A not-so-smart lady called the airline booking agent to ask how long a flight was from Los Angeles to New York?

The busy agent replied, "Just a moment."

The not-so-smart lady replied, "Thank you," and then hung up.

5 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Eufaulasrguy" |